When you start a new venture, the first thing you do is tell your friends all about it. They’ll be happy for you and sing your praises, right?
If they don’t react how you expect them to, it may crush you.
Taken aback, you ask: “How could they not support me?” Why aren’t they happy for me?” “What do I have to do to get their support?”
That right there lies the problem.
When we constantly seek validation from others, we are stripping ourselves of the freedom to do what we truly want. No matter what we accomplish, we will feel it’s for nothing unless other people are watching and cheering us on.
In my few years of business, I’ve learned that no one has to support you. Support isn’t some sticker that you get from your teacher when you do a good job — it isn’t obligatory.
In understanding that, we are able to concentrate our focus on what really matters —doing the work.
Having the right mindset is what gets things out into the world. Everything we have in our possession once upon a time didn’t exist. It took someone's faith in themselves and the idea of a greater future to have what we have today.
For those who’ve contributed to modern technology and more, we owe our gratitude. Our way of showing gratitude is using what has been given to us and making something worthwhile from it.
If you find yourself quitting something because no one is giving you the attention that you expected, you’ve never really wanted it to begin with. There are times in our lives where we are in the dark chipping away at our goals.
You have to love your craft when you’re at the bottom as much as you would being at the top. The times where no one is paying attention and we’re going unnoticed shows us if we really care about the life we want to have.
Are you doing it for fame or are you doing it because you enjoy it?
Some people reach great heights and get the praise and accolades they desire and others become unsung heroes— this is where self-awareness comes into play. To be able to get to a place where you’re happy with yourself no matter the outcome plays an important part in how we live our lives.
Why do we seek approval?
In a way, everyone seeks some sort of approval, but not everyone lets approval control their life. Take a look at social media for example. People will go to great lengths to have the best pictures on their page. People posting crazy things online just for a reaction.
When people react and respond to these things, they feel rewarded and constantly chase the feeling of importance. The truth is most people don’t have the fortitude or the confidence to do things on their own merit. If a spotlight isn’t on them then what is the use? In a perfect world, we would be our own spotlight instead of needing others to shine on us.
“Most people don’t support you because they don’t believe in themselves. If they don’t believe in themselves, how can they believe in you?”
How should we approach this?
The idea is to change how we respond to approval. We shouldn’t feel entitled to other's approval, but welcome it as it comes, if it comes. If you want to become a painter like Henri Matisse, your parent may disagree if they’re a traditionalist and persuade you to become a doctor. You may even choose a career that is contradictory to the way people perceive you and face ridicule.
When you’re faced with opposition you‘ll most likely have a bit of resentment towards them since they don’t support your goal. You shouldn’t let that get to you.
When you’re solid in your journey you shouldn’t see approval as a necessity, but a bonus. Not everyone is going to see your vision because it was made specifically for you to see. If no one supported you would you still do what you do? If not then it’s time to reevaluate your reasons.
At this point, you shouldn't worry about proving to them, but to yourself that you can do what you set out to accomplish. Your ambition should be the same whether someone is watching or not. Your drive should be the same regardless of what the world has to say. Most people don’t support you because they don’t believe in themselves. If they don’t believe in themselves, how can they believe in you?
It could be either jealousy or ignorance that causes a lack of support. If any criticism and skepticism come your way you shouldn’t take it personally. It says more about the person speaking than the person it’s directed towards.
The first step to getting things done is believing in yourself above everything. If your belief is strong enough nothing can deter you from accomplishing your mission. People are likely opposed to ideas that are too abstract or farfetched for them to comprehend. Can you imagine the number of inventions we wouldn’t have if the inventor listened to those around them?
In life, you have to be your number one fan. If you’re not you won’t survive. Achieving success is for those who are able to go through the storm and reach the top. We’re already faced with uncertainties in everyday life — adding other people's thoughts about you could be the nail in the coffin if you let it.
From the start, it is up to you to make your goals a reality. The people around you don’t support you? Use it as fuel to strive harder. Even if they never come around, you have enough self-confidence to persevere and do great things — that’s what matters here. Admiration comes to those who get the job done against all odds.
People, in reality, tend to support those who are true to themselves. They see the way a person moves and how secure they are in themselves. At the end of the day, the only support that matters is from the person in the mirror.
Show THAT person what you’re made of.